Just after midnight I woke up feeling rather uncomfortable. Being my first birth I had little idea of what the start of labour would feel like but I did recognise that this feeling was different from the normal 3 hourly toilet breaks that had become routine in the last month of my pregnancy. I thought it was probably false contractions and tried to go back to sleep. By 3h00 I was having regular contractions and the realisation that this may really be it started to dawn on me. However, to be sure I got into a warm bath because I had been told that if it was false labour, after a “warm bath and 2 Panado’s” it would more than likely subside.

I was unaware of the time between contractions but my husband was conscientiously timing them. Thank goodness for this because despite me saying that the contractions were not that close and we still had lots of time by 4am they were less than 3 min apart and he decided to phone Sue and Tertia. Tertia was at our house by about 5am and by that stage I was out of the bath and sitting on the side of the bed. The contractions were close together and there was hardly any time to catch my breath in between but I just worked on taking each contraction one at a time. I single mindedly focussed on my breathing like I had read in the book on “Hypnobirthing” which really helped. When I was not experiencing a contraction I sat very still, took several deep breathes and tried to relax. I ate an apple but threw it up almost straight away and a little while later threw up again. The vomiting and contractions at the same time were very scary but Tertia said it was very normal and this helped me not to panic.

The plan was to birth at Genesis Clinic but when Sue phoned we were told it was full – the Easter weekend had been incredibly busy for births! The alternative was either to birth at home or Linkwood. I had been to Linkwood early in my pregnancy and I knew what the facility offered and was happy to go there. But before we started to head there Sue called to say that a room would be available at Genesis after 9am if we could wait till then. My husband and Tertia discussed and decided this would be the best. I was grateful for them to make the decision as at that stage all I could focus on was breathing during a contraction and staying relaxed in between.

It was a very uncomfortable but relatively short drive to Genesis. The room was ready and Sue was there waiting for us. I was hugely encouraged when she informed me that I was 9cm dilated as I felt like I was making progress. Tertia set up the water bath and I got in. I had not decided before hand if I was going to have a water birth or if I would just use the bath for pain relief but as soon as I got into the water I knew I would stay there for the rest of the delivery. After about 10min of being in the water I started feeling uncomfortable again and had an urge to move onto my knees. I stayed in this position, leaning on the side of the bath, for the rest of the labour. My husband sat outside the bath in front of me in my direct line of vision and I held onto his arms. I could feel his overwhelming love for me and it gave me a huge amount of strength. Having him so close during the labour has created a connection between us that has deepened our appreciation of each other and the wonderful relationship we have.

Sue explained to me that I was going to feel like I was pushing out “the largest poo of my life”. This is rather vivid but it really helped me relate to what I needed my body to do and I was able to put my focus and energy into doing this. Sue challenged me to give 4 really good pushes per contraction which gave me something short term to focus on. When I was able to do 4 it made me feel like I had achieved a small victory and it encouraged me. Many times I felt it was just too painful and I just could not do it but Sue, Tertia and my husband just ignored my negative words and gave me lots of encouragement. Close to the end I remember Sue coming and sitting in front of me and looking me direct in the eye. She told me: “Carol, listen to me now. This is it. I need you to focus and push through this. You can do this.” She was very stern and it was exactly what I needed to be told. There were a couple more contractions and his head started to crown. Once his head was fully delivered his shoulders were stuck and at this point Sue had to give one really strong pull to get him out. It felt like she was pulling out my insides but after that it was over. I turned around in the bath and was able to see Hayden being taken out of the water. He was given to me immediately and we lay together in the water for the longest time. I was able to look over every inch of his perfect body and just be in awe of the moment and the miracle that I had been a part of.

I am a person who makes decisions with my head. But for the planning of my delivery as well as the labour itself I really worked hard to following my gut instead. I am so glad and proud that I did this. Not only did it give me the delivery I was meant to have but it also renewed a confidence in my instincts that I will use for the rest of my life. I have learnt that a woman who trusts and follows her instinct can be an unstoppable force. Thank you to Sue, Tertia, my husband and the Genesis staff for making this all possible.

Midwife: Sue King                            Doula: Tertia Alkema

My beautiful boy was born on 19 Jan 2012, and this is our story…

Wednesday 18 Jan

40 weeks and 4 days, so effectively my bump already on 4 days extended time. I was still working since I felt so comfortable and well during the last weeks of my pregnancy. On the previous day my midwife gave me a stretch and sweep and I booked with an expert reflexologist to start helping things along.

I was warned that these interventions can cause false labour pains, something that is very common at the end of any pregnancy. With much excitement and anticipation I went to bed that evening…

Thursday 19 Jan

6am – 2pm

Is something happening or not? I experienced mild, regular cramps in my belly throughout the night (very similar to period pains), not being sure if this is the real deal I decided not to wake Pierre and rather try and get as much sleep as possible thinking that I must be imaging things (yes, a probably a bit of denial J).

The next morning was the dawn of a beautiful day and there was a strange feeling of excitement and anticipation in the air that I just couldn’t explain. It was almost as if this was not just going to be another day. It was such a beautiful sunrise that we decided to take a photo to capture the beautiful colours in the JHB sky, looking back I think intuitively we both knew this day will change our lives forever.

Pierre decided to stay at home just in case this could be the day we have both been waiting for and we went for a long walk to see if it would have any effect on the contractions I was now clearly feeling and seeing on my tummy. As mid-morning approached it continued with regular intervals and that this must be the real thing. I advised my A-team, which includes Nicolette my midwife and Tertia my doula, that this might be the start of things. I booked for a pedicure around mid-morning and the staff was so amused by the fact that I am actually in the early stages of labour and sitting in a beauty salon! My therapist and I were laughing at the way my bump expanded with every contraction while she was busy painting my toe nails!

When I got back home I started putting my ‘to do list while in labour’ into action. First we baked a birthday cake for our precious little gift that was making his way to this world. Although this seems very corny, it was actually the best thing to keep us busy during this time. It was such a special time for us both, doing things together as a couple alone for the last time and counting down the hours before there will be three of us in our family.

2pm – 7pm

Things started getting more intense during this time. My doula, Tertia, arrived at our house 2pm and it was great to have somebody that offered so much support and have gone through this so many times with us to keep us calm, relaxed and focused. We followed her lead in terms of when to make our way to Genesis, and I am sure if we were on our own steam we would have hopped into the car much earlier! We tried to fill this time with more ‘labour to do list activities’ (a must have for anyone doing this. I actually had a whole host of things on my list I could cherry pick from during this time which came in very handy as I could really choose what I felt like doing to keep my mind occupied).

When she arrived the three of us watched a really cheesy movie and around 5pm decided to go for a walk around our estate. Walking was really funny at this stage as I had to stop walking with every contraction and went into a squat position where either Pierre or Tertia rubbed my lower back as I concentrated on my own breathing through each contraction. We had a good laugh when I ended up stopping right in front of a house of a guy working in his open garage on the way there and back. I had a good giggle about what he must be thinking with me squatting and other people rubbing my back, it must have looked really funny! I think he would have been shocked to know that I am actually in active labour!

At this stage my contractions were varying between 5 and 10 minute intervals and it was relatively easy to relax between each one and I tried to practice my breathing as I knew that the intensity will increase significantly over the next few hours. I had great company which made the world of difference. Back at the house we sat with our feet in the pool to cool down and I could feel that I was starting to access my ‘birth zone’, a place where nothing else exists, on a more regular basis.

7pm – 11:14pm

Ok, things started really heating up. The great thing about having a doula is that you are not panicking about when to leave for the birth clinic, we took her lead and ended up leaving for Genesis just after 7pm when my contractions were 3mins apart and 1min long. From here onwards time and the external world really stopped existing as I transcended into my birth zone to keep focused and stay on top of my contractions. Breathing deeply through my abdomen (as I practiced the few weeks before) made such a big difference in managing the pain, and it helped to keep my mind focused on something other than the cramps. Like waves, they came and they went and the secret was to really focus and live in that very moment.

Arriving at Genesis my wonderful midwife Nicolette was already waiting as I waddled in hunched over with a bean bag held to my tummy. She checked me when I arrived and was 6cm dilated. I was not overly excited since at this stage I have been in labour for a good 15 hours. Anyway, I didn’t let it phase me since I kept my focus on the here and now. My water sack was bulging in front of his head and we decided to break it in order to speed things along. And boy did it speed things along! The contractions clearly became progressively more intense as the hours ticked by and before long I had the opportunity to get into the bath. I understand why they do not let you in before 7cm as the warm water definitely slowed down my contractions and I had a good few minutes of ‘breathing time’ where I could actually engage and have a conversation with the people in the room. But soon enough things started heating up again and I was back in my zone, no talking just breathing! By now I was also very surprised by my ‘birth chanting’ J which felt so natural as I accessed my primal brain and energy. This most definitely also helped me to focus during those very intense moments.

There is something to be said for my support team. Pierre was absolutely amazing in his focused and channeled support from the first to the last minute of labour. He literally took every breath with me throughout the process and even though I couldn’t show it at the time I felt so supported and loved and that I am not doing this alone. I can honestly say there isn’t really anything that makes the feelings that are flowing through your body any better, but to have that emotional support gives you the ability to deal with it one breath at a time.

Eventually Nicolette checked me again and announced that I was now fully dilated and when I feel the urge the push I can go ahead. It was weird, it was such a long journey to get there, but getting to that point seemed so soon and sudden. Nevertheless I was happy that the end was in sight. She explained how this should be done and we had a few practice pushes. I got into a squatting position as I knew gravity would assist this phase. And boy once my body starting getting into pushing gear there was no stopping. Nicolette was brilliant in the way she coached me through the last pushes to ensure I have the best chance of no tearing. Pushing lasted about 30mins and I remember this as being a really intense time, hands gripping, me moaning, pushing will all my might, Nicolette coaching…This was probably the worst bit for me since as he was crowning we had to wait for the next contraction before I could continue pushing. It felt like forever and it was an overwhelming burning sensation, however it didn’t last very long as I was adamant that with the next contraction this baby will be out. Pierre and I both had the opportunity to feel his head crowning, which was really amazing!

And one of the best phrases I heard was when Nicolette said ‘ok get ready to take your baby’, and before I knew it I was able to reach out and take my beautiful baby boy into my arms – wow! What an amazing feeling that was! Almost surreal! I felt like a true birth goddess! He quickly took his first breath and he was a real screamer to ensure we all knew he has arrived into this world. I had an overwhelming sense of relief and joy to finally hold little Luca in my arms. And he was so perfect!

Once finished pulsating, Pierre had the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord while we were still in the water. According to him the cord is much tougher than you can ever imagine. Again, this was another special moment. After this they gave Luca to Pierre to have some ‘skin-to-skin’ contact while I birthed the placenta – I was little nervous about doing this, after the great accomplishment of delivering Luca I was now faced with delivering my placenta as well, whew! But it was actually so quick and painless.

The benefit of natural birth (without drugs) is that once it over you are fully mobile and I was able to get out of the bath myself and take a refreshing shower.

After that we got into bed and started the breastfeeding journey for the first time. Luckily all went well and Luca was a real star, latching and drinking quickly.

We were on such a high from the whole experience, not only that evening or the next day, even for weeks after the birth we continued reminiscing about what an amazing experience the whole ordeal was. I can honestly say that there is nothing I would change: I had the perfect birth experience!

My take-out from this whole experience is that delivering your child naturally is a precious, life-changing gift all us women were given the privilege to experience as human beings. That our body’s have an intelligence none of us can fathom. That we are limited only what we are led to believe and that we are far more capable if only we had the courage to truly surrender to our own abilities as women.

Miraculously I had no tears thanks to the caring experts that shared this experience with me. Without them and a birth clinic like Genesis this would definitely not have been possible.

Learn new techniques to assit your mothers, practice old ones, listen to other doulas tell their stories, have fun with art, belly casting and sharing of tips and ideas. New DVD’s are also shown and discussed on a regular basis.

So, come along!

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